Much has changed in my family since the days of Pretty Wild. I got sober, Gabby grew up and went to college, Tess and I have continued to have an on again off again relationship and my mom is still trying to be my manager! Lets start with me getting sober.
One of the hardest things that I had to realize after treatment was that just because I was going to get better didn’t mean that everyone else was going to as well. Also, that just because I made a honest amends to my family members, it doesn’t mean that they are going to forgive me.
One thing that I know for certain is that my family has changed for the better by leaps and bounds. Gabby decided after the show that she wanted to go to FIDM (The Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandise) and move the downtown Los Angeles.
She is a great student and is super responsible. I am very proud of her. Our relationship is a difficult one as any sister relationship is. I put Gabby through so much pain and sorrow and it is only natural that it would take her time to heal and forgive me.
Tess and I have had an on and off again relationship since I stopped using which I completely regret. As you all know she was in and out of treatment for a while. It is only recently that I have come to realize how unhealthy my behavior was towards her.
I was sober and she wasn’t, then I was sober and she was… What I have come to realize is that I had so many unhealthy behaviors and beliefs in our relationship that affected our ability to have a relationship.
Thoughts like “ I need you to get better for me to be okay” or “ Why won’t she get better for me?”. These are all unhealthy and I am the one left with resentment and anger towards her just for being Tess.
Instead of just loving her and accepting her for who she was. I am working on this today. As for my mom… This is an ever changing and evolving relationship. It is a very touchy subject. We love each other so much but there is still some underlying issues that come up that are painful to deal with.
She is changing and evolving so much and I am very happy for her. I cannot imagine the amount of pain that I must have put her through. Me being sober from heroin is a life long amends to her. So there you have it!