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Nancy Jo, this is Alexis Blogging

nancy jo

Sorry I haven’t blogged for a while. I’ve been so busy with my beautiful little bundle of joy! But I’m ready to get back to work!! … Actually, a woman named Katya is going to do most of my job for me tonight. Let me explain …

I was going to do a blog about this whole Nancy Jo business. Nancy Jo is involved in a publicity frenzy for her new book, which a visit to her twitter site will demonstrate. So I logged onto my site and was reading through your comments before I got to blogging. This is when I stumbled upon a link to Katya’s Amazon review of the Bling Ring book. (http://www.amazon.com/gp/cdp/member-reviews/AQA3SW1DR70SN/ref=cm_cr_pr_auth_rev?ie=UTF8&sort_by=MostRecentReview) I’ve excerpted it here for your reading pleasure:

“Nancy Jo, this is Katya calling. I’m calling to let you know how disappointed I am in your story. There’s many things that I read in here that were false … I bought this book because I had followed this case in the media as it unfolded, and also watched Pretty Wild when it aired.

Hearing Alexis Neiers story recently of how she was heavily addicted to hard drugs and online slot during the time of the burglary and her reality show, and how she has since completely turned her life around (she’s now over 2 years sober, married and with a child) really touched me. I went through similar problems during my late teens/early 20′s and was inspired to see a young girl overcome her demons and admit to her mistakes.

While the book was an interesting read, I felt almost disgusted at times by how judgmental and immature Nancy Jo could be – going as far to write in her thank yous “Thanks to my dad, for teaching me to work hard (and not to burgle)” and “Thank you to David, for making me laugh on the phone by saying, “This is upper-middle-class crack head behavior”.

I miss his wisdom”. I felt like this was really inappropriate and unprofessional. My favorite quote (from The Great Gatsby) is “Whenever you feel like criticizing any one, just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had” and I think that Nancy Jo needs to remember this – as stated in her book, Alexis was sexually abused by a family member as a very young child, physically abused by her father and given prescription drugs extremely early in her life

All of these things would mess up anyone psychologically. It influenced her behavior and she has grown from it, and for Nancy Jo to offer fake sympathy for her in places throughout the book and then basically turn around and laugh at her is really horrible.

Especially since she gave an interview about the famous “This is Alexis Neiers calling” clip from Pretty wild, saying: “I wondered what about that moment people still found so entertaining, three years later.

I don’t mean to be a party pooper here, but I’ve never found the clip all that funny. Alexis was in real distress during that call” How nice of her to say, right? Well it would be…if she wasn’t CONSTANTLY retweeting other people’s jokes about it and referencing it in her own tweets – for all her judgment about “fame hungry” people, she is clearly using this girls pain for her own fame.

The most ironic thing about this book is how the entire thing is about how awful it is that these kids are so obsessed with celebrities – and then on the final page, in Nancy Jo’s author bio….she name drops that she’s worked with “Damien Hirst, Hugh Hefner, Russell Simmons, Donald Trump, Tyra Banks, Angelina Jolie, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton and Taylor Swift”. Really??

I have no problem being fascinated with celebrities, in fact, i am myself. But don’t pretend to be above it, when you’re no better than any of those kids who you’re judging for the same damn thing. At least they can admit to it.”

Thank you very much for your sane, balanced take on the material, Katya. To say I’ve been frustrated by the way the distortions this Nancy Jo woman spreads about me get repeated over and over again would be a serious understatement.

I can’t explain what it’s like to have my story told by others — and so poorly, too! Thank God, now that the Bling Ring case has been closed for my co-defendants, I am free to tell my side of the story. (And please do stay tuned for this story.) I really feel like I am finding my voice.

It’s such a relief to get so much positive feedback from the lovely people like Katya who are seeing the hypocrisy in the accounts of my life from people like Nancy Jo, as she so nicely outlined above.

And Sophia Coppola, too, who was also ‘famous for being famous’ throughout her 20s, being the daughter of Francis Ford Coppola. She is obviously so much more than that, and went on to achieve greatness.

But it just goes to show that what we hate in others is often something that we are rejecting in ourselves. I try to be aware of this judgmental tendency in myself, as much as possible. And I hope that I’m more vocal about my own problems than I am busy talking about other people’s.

And to Nancy Jo, I forgive you. As I learn to tell my own story, I care less and less what you say about me. It really doesn’t mean anything to me. It’s your thing. And if I’ve helped you sell a couple of extra books, or gather a few new Twitter followers with this post, then I’m glad for you.

There’s one last thing before I sign off for the night. Something occurred to me today, which I found quite funny, and I hope you do, too, Nancy Jo … Your name will forever be connected with mine, but not mine with yours.

Sleep well!

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A Family Update:

family update

Much has changed in my family since the days of Pretty Wild. I got sober, Gabby grew up and went to college, Tess and I have continued to have an on again off again relationship and my mom is still trying to be my manager! Lets start with me getting sober.

One of the hardest things that I had to realize after treatment was that just because I was going to get better didn’t mean that everyone else was going to as well. Also, that just because I made a honest amends to my family members, it doesn’t mean that they are going to forgive me.

One thing that I know for certain is that my family has changed for the better by leaps and bounds. Gabby decided after the show that she wanted to go to FIDM (The Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandise) and move the downtown Los Angeles.

She is a great student and is super responsible. I am very proud of her. Our relationship is a difficult one as any sister relationship is. I put Gabby through so much pain and sorrow and it is only natural that it would take her time to heal and forgive me.

Tess and I have had an on and off again relationship since I stopped using which I completely regret. As you all know she was in and out of treatment for a while. It is only recently that I have come to realize how unhealthy my behavior was towards her.

I was sober and she wasn’t, then I was sober and she was… What I have come to realize is that I had so many unhealthy behaviors and beliefs in our relationship that affected our ability to have a relationship.

Thoughts like “ I need you to get better for me to be okay” or “ Why won’t she get better for me?”. These are all unhealthy and I am the one left with resentment and anger towards her just for being Tess.

Instead of just loving her and accepting her for who she was. I am working on this today. As for my mom… This is an ever changing and evolving relationship. It is a very touchy subject. We love each other so much but there is still some underlying issues that come up that are painful to deal with.

She is changing and evolving so much and I am very happy for her. I cannot imagine the amount of pain that I must have put her through. Me being sober from heroin is a life long amends to her. So there you have it!

Xo, Alexis

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The last time I used heroin

The last time I used heroin

I used heroin the last time ? i remember exactly, it was the 30th of November, 2010, and I was using in the bathroom at my mother’s house. I recall looking up at my self in the mirror and hearing my little sister’s voice in despair, crying for me to stop. I lost it, I dropped to the floor and said, “God, or whatever you are out there, I need help. I can’t do this anymore.”

I woke up in my sister’s room at 6:30 a.m . I had started to withdrawal. My bones ached to the core, my eyes watering as I crawled into the bathroom to get high. I had less then a pinpoint left. I began to panic because I knew I wouldn’t be able to re-up until that afternoon, so I decided to save it until later that morning, to ease the symptoms. I curled up into a ball in Gabby’s bed.

Little did I know that an hour later would be the beginning of the rest of my life. At 7:30a.m on December first, 2010, the cops raided my mom’s house, looking for me. I had not shown up to probation in over two months. I threw my hands up and let them take me. I couldn’t bear to do this any longer.

They charged me with possession of a controlled substance, possession of a smoking device, and possession of a fake I.D. I violated my probation, and was now facing three to six years in prison. For 10 days, I detoxed from heroin, benzos, alcohol and cocaine in jail with no medical assistance. I felt pain I can’t even begin to explain. I thought I was dying, every second of every day.

Then the moment happened where I finally surrendered. I was in a holding cell with another girl in protective custody, waiting to see the judge. I was a mess because I knew that the district attorney was ready to send me away. We began talking and I asked her the one question you should never ask an inmate, “What are you here for?”

This young girl was beautiful, but she began to tell me a story that was so gruesome, I could barley believe it. She had been locked up since she was 16. She was now 21, fighting this same case.

Her mother was a meth addict, and began giving meth to her daughter on a daily basis when she was 13. By the time she was 16 years old, she was in such a deep psychosis induced by meth that, when her mother told her that the only way she would be saved from the devil is if she slaughtered the family across the street, she burned the house down and waited for the police.

She did just that, and that day I met her, she was being sentenced to four consecutive life sentences. Sarah had a peace on her face when she told me this story, like she knew she was going to be okay regardless of her circumstances.

I now know that she was in recovery through a twelve-step program, based on the things she was saying to me. I told her what I was in for, and she had one piece of advice for me that changed everything.

She said,“ Just remember you have a choice. You can walk into that court room with God.” I remained silent until they called my case. I had an overwhelming feeling of safety with me that day, and when I walked into that courtroom, I was honest for the first time in years.

I said to Judge Espinoza, “I am 19 years old, and I am a heroin addict. I cannot stop using drugs, and I need help. You can send me to prison, but I will remain the same person I am today, I have been institutionalized before and it didn’t work.” Little did I know a man by the name of Greg Hannley was in the gallery.

Greg owns the SOBA recovery center. He stood up and told the judge that he would take me. He gave me a ‘scholarship’ to his treatment center for one year. The judge agreed, and I have been sober from all substances ever since, including medications for my psychiatric issues.

God answered my prayers that day. That generous man not only put me through his program for a year, but also helped me to get back into school to become a California State Certified Drug and Alcohol Counselor, and eventually allowed me to become an intern and run therapeutic groups at his facility.

I entered treatment on December 10th 2010 a scared, insecure little girl, and left December 10th2011 a proud, compassionate, strong woman. For me, the transformation process began when I was willing to come to a place of acceptance for what was.

I slowly began to see that I could no longer do this alone, and that I needed to reach out to other women who have had the same experiences that I did. I realized that I was not only dealing with an addiction to alcohol and drugs, but was also suffering from an eating disorder, severe co-dependency, post traumatic stress disorder, and had an all-around spiritual ‘soul sickness,’ and by that I mean that I would look anywhere outside of my self for the remedy, not realizing that I was all that I needed.

I had built up so many false belief systems and perceptions about the world and my place in it. These damaged perceptions were what drove me to the place of insanity that I had gotten to. I had to really dig deep to recognize these issues and have them rid from my life.

It is a daily process for me, and it is so incredibly worth it. I am worth it. Today I am free. I have found a quiet mind and a loving heart. Today, I have compassion for the girl that I was. I see her as a sick person who really needed love and help. And this compassion for myself has spilled over, and helped me to see others compassionately.

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So, what are my feelings about the “Bling Ring” movie?

The Bling Ring

When I found out last March that Sofia Coppola was making a movie about the Bling Ring at first I was shocked and then I became optimistic after I heard what her intentions for the film were. I can only hope that this movie does not just tell the story of Los Angeles teens robbing the homes of celebrities because that, I don’t believe, would have much impact on people as what I believe the real cultural obsession with what the Bling Ring is.

See as a society we are so focused in this day and age on what celebrity is doing what and we have gotten off track. It has lead to teens literally killing themselves and privacy and boundaries no longer exists.

If you look back a couple of decades ago to the beginning of time, spirituality and religion was the center focus of every home. The work like, family life, finances etc. were focused around a cultures spiritual beliefs.

I don’t know exactly where we started to go wrong, I believe it has something to do with technology advancing so quickly in the last decade especially.

This obsession is what makes the Bling Ring so prevalent almost 5 years after the initial robbery took place and it is because, I believe, that a majority of society is just as sick as these teens were.

We are obsessed, I believe because we want an inside look into the real life of these celebrities and we enjoy publicly scrutinizing people because they “sin” differently then we do. It is a method of distracting us from having to look at our own actions and sick behavioral patterns.

The story of teens robing the homes of celebrities is artificial and has no real depth and substance and I can only hope that Ms. Coppola decides to shed light to this truth.

See no one know the real story behind the Bling Ring. All of the media outlets have gotten key facts in this case wrong from names of defendants, who is involved in what robbery, who the leader of this crew was, and many more facts that we will never know because no one went to trial.

Key pieces of evidence were never submitted and the majority of the defendants walked with 3 years or so of probation and refused to have anything to do with the media. Not to mention the lead detective who is currently under investigation for numerous reason regarding his conduct in this case.

Just last month a teaser for the film was released and based on what I saw it looks like it is just another party watch movie based on teens robbing celebrity homes. I understand that the point of this teaser was to entice all of you to go to the theater and see this film. I am still hoping that this movie will accurately show what I have described above and I have faith in Sofia’s ability and in this film.